Weddings these days can be anything but traditional. But sometimes when you have the influence from family members or fabulous Pinterest images, you might feel pressured to do things a certain way. And I’m here to tell you, that that couldn’t be further from the truth. While planning for my own wedding this past year, I’ve come across a few big myths that seem to be floating around, scaring brides into thinking they have to do certain things a certain way.

MYTH 1: It’s the Brides Day

In a way, yes, it is. But it also isn’t. Your wedding is about beginning a life with your partner in crime, your soon to be spouse, your other half, the jelly to your peanut butter… whatever you want to call it. But bottom line, it’s about the two of you, not just the bride. And while yes, many grooms do become disengaged when it comes to wedding planning, but not giving them the chance to be apart of the planning process or involving them won’t exactly draw them in either. At the end of the day there’s equally enough room in the spotlight for both you… even though the bride just might sparkle a little brighter than the groom, and that’s okay J

MYTH 2: You Shouldn’t See Your Spouse-to-be Until the Ceremony

While I do believe in spending some time apart during the morning, waiting until the ceremony for the first look at each other is a little out dated. And in my world, throws off timelines for appetizers, dinner and photos. Seeing each other before the ceremony for the “first look” moment allows the two of you (and the photographer of course, from afar) a private moment together. The ceremony itself if already full of pressure and stress from standing in front of people and remembering vows, why add any extra emotions from the first look to that as well?

MYTH 3: You Must Have a Wedding Party, or Equal Numbers on Both Sides

I’ve actually been to a wedding before where there wasn’t a wedding party, and you know what, it all worked out and was still a real wedding, and everyone had fun. When it came my wedding planning, this thought had seriously crossed my mind. These days, most weddings don’t have a true need for them, other than novelty. And in fact, if people were really honest, they’d rather be there and support you, from the crowd, and in a dress that they chose to wear. So when it comes to your own wedding, don’t feel intimidated to have a wedding party if you don’t want to. Your friends and family will still be there for you.

And let’s say you do want to have a wedding party but don’t have equal sides. That’s okay too. Today’s weddings are all about making your own traditions and making it a day that you will have fun at and remember. So if you have 3 bridemaids and 6 groomsmen, or a groomslady, that’s okay too. Once again, don’t feel intimidated about sticking to what everyone else is doing.

And if you have a large amount of friends that you want to include in your wedding, find other positions for them as well. There’s always ushers, readers and toast givers!

MYTH 4: This is the Most Important Day of Your Life

Yes, and no. While this might be one of the most important days of your life, there will be more – the day you buy your first house, when you give birth to your children, when you celebrate your 50^th wedding anniversary, and other major milestones. And let’s be honest, putting that much pressure on yourself to make sure everything goes perfectly since it is the most important day ever, is a lot to handle, and too much extra stress if you ask me.

MYTH 5: If they invited you to their wedding, you have to invite them to your wedding

This is your day, if you don’t want to invite someone or want to keep it small, that’s okay, the world will still go on. If they ask or assume they’d be invited, just be upfront about your reasons right away, they’ll appreciate the honesty.

MYTH 6: DIY Will Save You Money

It might save you money, but it might not. And if it does save you money, how much time and energy will it take up? When I first started planning our centerpieces, my initial thought went to making them myself out of my own supplies and scouring craft store ads for when certain items would be on sale. So I purchased everything I would need to make a centerpiece, put it together and figured out what it would cost to do it myself. And you know what, the florist came in quite a bit cheaper. And since I won’t have to worry about finding all the materials on sale, storing them somewhere until the wedding, transporting them to the wedding and then figuring out what to do with all of them afterwards, I’ve saved myself quite a bit of time, stress and energy (and to me, that’s just as precious as money).

But that doesn’t mean that won’t be the case for everything. There are in fact some items that I will be doing myself, like any printed materials, some small flower arrangements (I asked my florist to get me stems at her wholesale price) and our guest favors. But when heading down the craft aisle, think about it first, do some research (if it’s not floral, try Etsy) and see what it will actually cost you to make versus to rent it or find it elsewhere.